WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2009

	GHOSTLY FAREWELL
Continued from page 1

Famous Ghosts reaching as far back as Eisenhower’s televised campaign addresses were present at the reception, sponsored by the defunct Association of Cigarette TV Advertisers. There were, in fact, some sightings of the General and President himself, amiably sipping a root beer with a somewhat out-of-focus, but notably younger Don Ameche.

As has been experienced by anyone who has watched TV over the venerable “rabbit ears,” TV Ghosts have been a well-understood and commonly-experienced phenomena. The ghosts appear when the signals from the TV Station antenna bounce against a distant object. The ghosts are liberated by the radio signal traveling round-trip, arriving a few microseconds after the original transmission. As everyone knows that taking a picture of a person robs a little of the soul, the late-arriving energy is “out of sync” with the original. This causes a disturbance in the dark matter band-gap, creating a ghost of the original. These spirits have roamed the atmosphere since over-the-air TV signals soaked the aether. Now it is nearly time to bid an eternal goodnight.

After the band had stopped playing, many of the old-timers sat around the stage speaking disjointed bits of dialogue and often winking in and out of sight. By the end of the evening, only Bob Denver of The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis was seen talking with the girls from Petticoat Junction.

When the Digital TV implementation is finished, the only thing that viewers will have to tolerate are small funny squares that will occasionally freckle TVs not on cable or satellite systems.

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