WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2009

	ADDICTED TO DRY ERASE MARKERS
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Dr. Alan Brooks of DIAS presented his findings at the group’s annual convention in Atlantic City, NJ. “The funding from the government stimulus plan could not have come at a better time. We had some suspicions that these markers were not always used solely to write equations and sketching new product ideas. But we couldn’t put any real data together until we got the $3.5 million in funding for the study.”

The study necessitated close cooperation with office supply managers, several of whom admitted a weakness for the aromatic inks themselves. “We found the supply managers and purchasers critical to the success of the study, for it is necessary to have a deep sympathetic understanding of the crutch that these things are for some people.” Said Dr. Brooks, turning to make his come out roll.

One of the study group, who requested anonymity, related his own struggles with the temptation. “It reminds me of the days when homework assignments printed on cool damp mimeograph papers were passed out by Mrs. Watts, my third grade teacher. I used to take the homework assignments into the coat closet and sniff them until they dried up.”

“I really didn’t think I had a problem until my co-workers staged an intervention during a budget planning meeting. I had just gone through my fourth blue pen when they sat me down and produced a copier-paper box of dried pens. For the first time in a long time, I cried.”

Highlighting-types of pens did not seem to have the same addictive effect, although the largely obsolete Liquid Paper was still being cached by some hard core users. Dr. Brooks is planning a follow-up study on a form of carpal tunnel syndrome specific to Blackberry users.

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